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Wednesday 10 April 2013

Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: A Boob-Bouncing Special Edition, Featuring Katy Perry and Her Elmo Jiggle

Yes, gentlemen, that footage is still the greatest, arouse-iest twenty seconds Youtube has to offer. It’s like crack, too; we know a guy (y’know, ‘a friend’) who watched in on repeat for four days before passing out in a squelchy mess of his own waste products, hunger, shame and jizz. His roommate, putting the prostrate, limbs-akimbo dude’s pants back on, was not amused (so we’re told).
And so to our mamtastic business. In this installment, we’re dispensing with the gallery format. The only pertinent news-oddity we need this week is the one entitled Japanese Site Compares Ridiculous Video Game Breasts to Real Breasts, courtesy of the wacky funsters at Kotaku. Because, as we’re sure you’ll all attest, if there’s one renegade band of badass chesticle fans from the Devil’s ballsack, it’sEgotastic! But if there’s another, it’s indubitably our friends from the Land of the Rising Erection.
The ridiculous in question pertains to Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus, which translates roughly intoHuzzah! Scantily Clad Ninja Women With Tits Like Two Sacks of Watermelons, GO GO GO Ultra Happy Funtimes! (Except it doesn’t.) Last week, we saw this newly-released business galvanizing Japanese interest in Sony’s shuffling-piteously-about-like-an-elderly-horse-with-a-limp-scrotum PlayStation Vita, and it’s making news once more. News of the very best kind.
As Kotaku reports, Asian info-site Rocket News have utilized actual science to compare the boobitude of model Erina Kamiya with the ludicrous, jiggling profusely like a pair of immense, nervous and/or chilly blimps norkage that video games are wont to provide (see also: Dead or AliveSoul Calibur and so forth). The sight of a rather sexy lady jumping around sans top while two disembodied fingers paw at the jello-jugs of a character on the Vita’s screen isn’t something you want to deny yourself, we’d wager.
So flex your perusal muscles/gonads below. As a bonus (a boner-bonus, if you will), we’ve also included one man’s view of The Top 3 Movie Slow Mo Bouncing Boobs.
Because we can.

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